It has been a week for apologies. Firstly, our Sports Minister Makhenkesi Stofile issued an apology to all New Zealand Maori rugby players for apartheid South Africa’s insistence they be excluded from playing rugby against the Springboks. The minister also insisting the South African rugby union follow him by offering their own apology. Then the Pope got as far as he ever has in apologizing to the many victims of the Catholic priest child abuse scandals. It was not a clear cut apology by any means, and certainly offered nothing in the way of restorative justice, but at least it was a step forward. Finally, and to the smug glee of many South Africans, Julius Malema was forced to offer an apology to President Zuma, the ANC and the country for some of his disgraceful behavior. Sadly, this was not a conclusive apology by any means because Malema plea bargained and had several charges against him dropped, perhaps to save him the ignominy of being made to apologise to the BBC reporter with all those disgraceful ‘white tendencies’.
Whenever such apologies are in the news, you inevitably start hearing people questioning the point of it all. Comments are routinely made such as: Why apologise for events that occurred decades ago, or that were committed by those that went before us? When does this ever stop, surely at some point we all just have to move on?
Some of these comments actually are valid, because repeatedly playing out a victim mentality will definitely limit any ability to meaningfully move forward in life. To expect individuals, social groups or even whole nations to continually apologise for doing wrong will ultimately be destructive for all concerned. Yet, it cannot be denied that in many cases an apology IS needed because, quite simply, one has never been offered before. In all honesty, perhaps we resent the call to apologise simply because we just do not want to take responsibility for our actions of wrongdoing. More than this, asking forgiveness should not just be contained in words, but also in actions. The Pope himself, whose institutional framework seems to be struggling with this exact issue, recently said that “Forgiveness cannot substitute justice.”
The Christian faith has a lot of positive and life-giving truths to offer the world around us, but perhaps nowhere is this truer than in Jesus’ teachings on forgiveness. Jesus repeatedly taught that generous, persistent and even undeserved forgiveness is absolutely crucial to faith in his name. Core to Jesus’ teaching is that forgiveness, both in asking for it and in the giving of it, acts as a key to unlock any and all prisons of anger, hurt and betrayal.
It was Lewis Smedes who best summarised this truth when he said: “The first and only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness…When we genuinely forgive; we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.”
Jesus reminded us that forgiveness is essential to the overall health of the human spirit. A lack of forgiveness can not only imprison individuals but also whole nations. Of course there are situations where wisdom and common sense should be applied as some play out a 'perpetual victim' mentality which can be equally destructive. Yet, the simple truth Jesus lived and died for is that an ability to give and receive forgiveness is essential to what it means to be fully human. Jesus’ teaching encourages us to embrace the now and not to shy away from the painful and demanding process of asking for and offering forgiveness, because one day circumstances may very well result in it being too late for us to say sorry.