As a child, I used to live in fear that something would happen to my parents. I think it was watching the old classic movie Oliver Twist that left me with a deep-rooted fear that I would wake up one day to find my parents gone, and have to fend for myself. Well, the other day I woke up and read two newspaper articles that left me feeling as if each and every single grown-up had upped and left our country at once.
First, there was a story about an ANCYL conference in East London which had to be adjourned because of a hoax bomb scare, unruly delegates and fraudulent registration problems (News24.com). This is on top of an even more infamous ANCYL conference (yes, the one that elected Malema) where fist-fights routinely broke out and ‘mooning’ bottoms were regularly bared (who said the age of sharp, political discourse had passed?). Forgive me for asking, but is this not an official arm of the most powerful political party in our country whose task it is to both represent and inform the youth of our country? In other words, being a member of ANCYL does not mean you get to act like a total spoilt child, but rather that you become responsible for assisting in the formation, guidance and care of our youth.
The other article which made me want to spit my own dummy was one which detailed a fight that broke out at a Hilton vs Martizburg College rugby game (also News24.com). No, the fight was not between young rugby players involved in an overly tense game, but between the PARENTS of the opposing schools. Two dads decided to take the law into their own hands ‘Steven Seagal’ style, and ended up wrestling each other on the ground right where their sons were meant to be playing rugby. It takes a special kind of immaturity to let your ego and aggro get in the way of your own child’s formative character experience of competitive school team sports. Boys learn to be men from the example of the adults closest to them, so I shudder to think what kind of men are currently being produced in households like these.
Of course, it could be argued that I am merely setting up ‘straw-men’ for my argument as surely these bizarre incidents represent the actions of only a minority and don’t truly reflect the whole? My response is that surely we have a right to expect far, far more from community leaders such as politicians and parents? Surely, even one incident of such crass and immature behavior is one too many and, in fact, these incidents reflect a huge social dilemma: That South Africa suffers a disturbing lack of leaders and role models that can be properly respected. On a national level, who has stepped up to replace the Mandela’s, Tutu’s and Van Zyl Slabbert’s? At a grassroots community level, absent fathers are a dime a dozen. During my ten years of pastoral ministry I observed how few young adults have older adults in their lives that they respect and who in the position to play mentorship and guidance roles.
So where have all the grown-ups gone? Who is left to teach the importance of values such as loyalty, integrity, perseverance and responsibility? There are a number of areas I would personally love to see role models such as political leaders, religious figures, teachers and parents focus on setting an example in, and also forming in those who follow them. The first is to have the maturity to take responsibility for yourself: to honestly face the consequences of your own mistakes and to recognise that the best rewards in life come from commitment, integrity, hard work and perseverance. The second is to value wisdom. character and quality relationships over success, money and looks: as the old saying goes “you cannot succeed in what you do and fail in who you are.” The third, and this is crucial in the South African context, would be to teach that it takes a far greater strength to choose compassionate, non-violent responses to conflict than it is to respond with violence and revenge.
Sadly, at this stage of South Africa’s journey, it seems as if our country is too full of children leading children, and the blind leading the blind. More than ever, we are needing a new generation of ‘grown-ups’ who we can all respect, and who will help forge our way forward as individuals and as a nation.
(This article has been written by Gareth Killeen, the editor of CruxMobi).